What makes a woman?
Here is a question I have been asking myself and some around me for years. I have struggled to define womanhood, and to an extent, so have those around me.
If we look back at history and compare it to the present, one thing is for sure, the definition of a woman has changed over time. The definition of a woman is no longer what it used to be. It is safe to say that the nuances of “woman” have evolved, as they should.
The pre-contemporary woman was identified by her temperament and demeanor. A good woman submitted to patriarchy, was docile and fertile. There was no place for a woman to be her person much less to take up space or have a voice.
The modern woman, on the other hand, is nothing short of revolutionary. She is strong-willed and does whatever she puts her mind to. The primitive will call her selfish but the millennials call her admirable.
I remember asking several women around me what made a woman a woman because I desperately wanted to know when I could consider myself a woman. Some of the older ones said it was undoubtedly when you got married. But what if I never got married?
A contemporary told me it was through child-bearing. What if I never had a child, would I never be a woman?
A friend thought it depended solely on strength. How well you handle adversity. How hard you can hustle, grind and take care of your children, parents, and spouse.
At one point I realized I had to define womanhood for myself and stop letting the perception of others hover over me. I thought I had it figured out. I thought for sure I was a woman because I lived alone and was able to hold things down (as much as possible). You can imagine my surprise when I posed the question to some of my senior students and one said, “Miss, a woman can not be defined.”
That hit like a tonne of bricks. She was right not because womanhood is fluid but because “woman” is ever-evolving - forever adapting and setting her own boundaries and standards. May we continue to evolve.
It is one thing to acknowledge the contribution of women to society every year in March but it is a different thing to allow women to be free from every shackle - invisible and visible. Every woman has the right to show up as her most authentic and highest self.
In the words of the great Audre Lorde, “No woman is free until all women are free.”
That means we still have work to do.
Affirm:
I will not be silent.
There is liberty in my truth.
I will not rest until every woman is free.
Do you honor the woman in you? Do you honor the women around you? In what ways are you advancing the work?
Namasté, my friends.
A woman cannot be defined! Here is to ever evolving. Cheers
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