The Reason Behind My Voice

Photo by eberhard 🖐 grossgasteiger on Unsplas h It took me a while but I am finally woman enough to admit it. I used to be afraid of being happy. I was afraid of experiencing joy.  It might seem silly, I know. But cherophobia is more common than we care to admit.  I think much of my fear stemmed from the false narratives I was fed as a child. "After laughing is crying" I would often hear. Whether it was on the basketball court, at school, or home. It did not take long for me to associate joy and sadness. I came to view happiness as a preamble to mourning. Photo by eberhard 🖐 grossgasteiger on Unsplash After hours of playing basketball or swimming in the river without my mother's permission, I would come home to a waiting belt. No matter how much I enjoyed myself that joy was overshadowed by the punishment.  I had my first and only birthday party at 12 years old. I enjoyed it. But soon after that, I lost most of my friends who came to the party. Part of me wished my mo...

  It Gets Better!                                       Photo credit: Nappy As the curtain closes on Mental  Health Month, I felt led  to share my story with my readers. But before I go any further, I would just like to remind you of a few things.  Mental Health Awareness is important.  Your mental health is important.  Your thoughts matter.  You matter. It is no secret that there is a common but undeserved stigma attached to mental health. Whether or not we want to admit it, everyone  has mental health. Just as one is concerned about their physical well-being, the same should apply to their emotional well-being.  However, this utopia does not exist and many of us neglect to take care of our minds. Being raised in the Caribbean I have noticed that we do not talk about our feelings, we do not share what is bothering us and we seldom reach out ...

  Photo credit: Javon Swaby   I had so many plans for this year! This was supposed to be my year of revival, releases and recovery. I thought for sure had seen enough down days and I had been educated at the school of hard-knock for long enough; it was time for graduation.   It was much to my dismay when this lock-down was  issued and my plans had to be placed on hold. I did not plan for this. Where did this set-back fit into my plan? After all, 2020 was really supposed to be a movie. I had to learn through the disappointment, through the pain and loneliness. As a writer, you learn to see the good in everything but when you are "in medias res" this can be quite a task.    If we are to be honest a lot of good has come from this lock-down.     Photo credit:  Kehn Herman   It has made us more creative.   As creatives we are taught that the world is our stage and we must always be prepared to perform, ev...

Several of my readers have been asking about my recently published collection of poetry "Bonfire". The story is quite fascinating, if I do say so myself. Had someone told me a few years ago I would have been published at age 26, I would not have believed them. Don't get me wrong, I have always considered myself to be a writer. But it was never a priority; I wrote only when I felt like it.  My most accomplished piece of writing would most definitely be my manuscript for my first novel. But it has yet to be published. The reason for this is because I was turned down by several publishers and I let that deter me. When I finally found a publisher, I was also asked to change the plot of my story because it was too controversial. I considered self-publishing but I was afraid of how it might be received.  I felt defeated and I felt like quitting on the novel altogether. But that was when "Bonfire" came to me like a candle in a dark room. The poems cam...